Why I Decided to Buy a Degree

My girlfriend is always calling me a know it all and telling me that I have way too much useless information floating around inside my head. I’m great at playing trivia games and can actually say that the team that I’m on almost always wins in the end. She calls me her Encyclopedia Man and has been bugging me for a while now to go back to school. Unfortunately I just don’t have the time to do it. So, I decided to play a little joke on her.

I wanted to buy a degree online. A fake degree but it would have to look amazingly authentic for me to be able to pull off my little scheme that I had in my head. I was able to find a printer that I felt would be able to do the best job on my fake degree, Diploma World. The information on their website was extensive and since they have been in business for so long, I decided that they were the perfect company to print my fake degree to help me pull off my joke on my girlfriend.

I chose to receive a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology. In my mind that would have been the best because after all, I was planning on messing with her head for a while. This fake degree was definitely going to help me out with the joke of the century and would hopefully get her to understand that I didn’t have to have the real thing to prove my brain power.

The ordering process for my fake degree was surprisingly easy and when it was delivered I was surprised at exactly how real it did look! I had it framed and placed it on the wall in my living room. Then all I had to do to get the joke started was wait for her to notice it. Surprisingly, it took a few days before she actually noticed it on the wall.

Needless to say, she was shocked and then started to interrogate me a bit. Why didn’t I tell her? Why didn’t I go to the graduation ceremony? How had I done it without her knowing about it? I just smiled and told her that I wasn’t really that big of a deal but if she wanted, since I had majored in Psychology that I could now analyze her and tell her about her personality traits and why she has always been so fixated with me getting a degree.

She stopped short at that statement and kept looking back and forth between me and my fake degree on the wall. I could see that she was thinking intensely and now trying to put everything together in her head. So, I told her it was a fake degree that I had purchased online to play the joke. She was a good sport about it and we shared a pretty good laugh.

Now when friends come over to my house, my girlfriend is in on the joke. “Ask him anything. He’s a never ending pool of information.” she will tell them while pointing up at my fake degree hanging prominently on the wall.

The questions pour out and I answer. Sometimes with the real answer, sometimes not. But every time I look across the room at my girlfriend, she’s just sitting there smiling. All because she knows that fake diplomas fake out our friends.

She is getting hers soon. She just hasn’t decided what she wants to be yet. I never imagined this would be so much fun.